New Year

Posted on 31 December 2004

It’s the last night of the year. An hour ago, I sat down by the water, watching the sun set. At the moment, I have artichokes simmering on the stove. Rob and I have agreed to have a quiet New Year’s eve at home, eating good food, drinking good wine, and watching a film. I don’t want to do anything fancy or exciting. I may stay up long enough to welcome in the new year. I may not.

This new year,

I hope to grow more content and yet be

more verbal

more eloquent on paper

more sure of myself.

I want my novel to take on a shape that pleases me,

that helps me forge ahead.

Looking through my journals this morning I found a quote by Simone de Beauvoir who has influenced me since I was in my teens:

“On the day when it is possible for women to love not in her weakness but in strength, not to escape herself but to find herself, not to abase herself but to assert herself – on that day love will become for her, as for man, a source of life and not a mortal danger.”

I wish to love this way.

Over the holidays, I read a sweet book by Helen Humphries called “The Lost Garden” inspired by her father’s and grandfather’s lives. The novel takes place in England during WW1, around the time that Virginia Woolf decided to end her life. Woolf’s death and her novel “To the LIghthouse” plus several of Tennyson’s poems from “In Memoriam” are important to the tale and kept me reading to its sad conclusion.

It grows darker. I must attend to the prawns.

Happy New Year.

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