Posted on 14 June 2007

37 years of marriage

It’s our 37th anniversary today and I don’t feel in the least romantic. I woke too early. Rob woke later, packed his bag, and left for Tofino for his last two days of shooting. Though I did get a few kisses and a big box of chocolates, somehow I felt let down. I wonder if he felt the same way. I gave him a gift two days ago. So what do I expect after being married this long?

What’s it all about… this crazy little thing called love?

I was over celebrating a friend’s birthday last night and one gift was a deck of cards with questions about living. Perhaps it’s a way to get to know others. Or perhaps a way to get people to spill their secrets. Someone draws a card and then each person at the table answers the same question. The first card asked: Put in order of importance the words “love, money, happiness, freedom.” I answered freedom, happiness, love, and money. Most people chose love as most important. But without freedom, I would feel trapped and this would make me unhappy and it would be impossible to love me let alone another.

After Rob left, I tried to catch some more sleep but I just lay there feeling lifeless.

At five the doorbell rang and outside was an enormous bouquet of exotic flowers. And seeing all that beauty beautifully presented made me feel a whole lot better. And I remembered the way Rob took my face in his hands the other night and just held them there a while. And how loved I felt.

“I gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my tracks…
Until Im ready
Crazy little thing called love”

Crazier is that Rob always describes our marriage as “living hell” and sometimes he even tells me that he didn’t get much weight for his money – meaning he could have found a bigger, softer mama in his old New Brunswick home. Still can, he told me this morning. But a minute ago he called to make sure I received his flowers – the exotic ones arrive today that’s why the delivery was late, he said – and so I told the old guy that I loved him. Couldn’t help myself. And still I shake my head and can’t believe that it’s been 37 years with the same guy.

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