I must be getting old

Posted on 03 March 2012

Today, my middle child turns 30. Where did the time go? Now, I’m going to sound old but I remember the evening he was born. He was my tiniest baby, weighing 6 pounds, 10 ounces. (His older brother was 9 lb 2 oz.) In the hospital, the nurses commented on his sweet disposition and asked if they could use him for demonstrations. He is still one of the sweetest, kindest guys I know. Happy Birthday, dear Michael.

Meanwhile, I’ve been home from Vancouver for several weeks. When I arrived back in France, my spirits were low. Rob was still suffering from hives (still is, poor guy) and all seemed bleak. I thought a lot about self-preservation and protection and dug out D.H.’s poem on the subject.

To make self-preservation and self-protection the first law of existence
Is about as scientific as making suicide the first law of existence,
And amounts to very much the same thing.

A nightingale singing at the top of his voice
Is neither hiding himself nor preserving himself nor propagating his species;
He is giving himself away in every sense of the word;
And obviously, it is the culminating point of his existence….

As a matter of fact, the only creatures that seem to survive
Are those that give themselves away in flash and sparkle
And gay flicker of joyful life;
Those that go glittering abroad
With a bit of splendour.

This is all fine and dandy when one is up and sparkling but what of the times when one is low and feels weighed down? Do I spew out all the self-depreciating thoughts that roam my brain? I don’t think so or, at least, not every time. This time I simply crawled into my brain and was uncommunicative.

While I was away the weather dropped to 13 below zero and since I’ve returned, it continues to rise. Yesterday, it was 24 degrees in the sun and I feel myself lighter and happier. I was standing on a street in the village a couple of days ago, enjoying the sun, and a French woman and her husband passed by. She mentioned my blog, asked why I hadn’t written lately. (She was speaking in French so this surprised me. She said that she had googled the town’s name and there was a link to my blog. I think that’s what she said but it made me think that I should write more about village life.)

Tonight, I shall celebrate my son’s first thirty years. I have no doubt that his next thirty will be even more wonderful.


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